Live and Learn and then Laugh your Face off!

My Family Motto goes as such: Cruickshank's never give up... but they know when to quit. Hippie Camp didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped it would. I decided to quit while I still had my sanity, and come home early. Live and learn, Hey?

I struggled a lot these past 4 weeks of highs, lows and everything in between, but I am happy for the experience. Some really great insights have already become evident to me, and I know once I am home many more will also show up! This experience really forced me to really go deep down inside myself, ask the hard questions and Get Real with myself. This whole wholistic movement that is happening is an amazing road, that is asking, rather calling for us to get back to our roots and live more simply. BUT I need to rethink my place inside that movement. This particular path, as a career choice, isn't my life's calling - which in discovering this is a major blessing when I think about all the time and money and other precious untangle resources I could have used up chasing a white rabbit. Thank-you Universe!

The biggest gift that I was given is the realization that the best medicine we can give to ourselves is "Happiness Everyday, in all things". Being out at the centre was a huge character building experience for me, and am grateful for the experience, and all that I went through, however I am ALSO very grateful to be back on solid ground. Which is another great lesson - no matter what you do, always keep your grounding. Hummm, like what - oh yeah - the Willow Tree.

I will be writing more in depth about the last week at Hippie camp - especially the 7 day juice fast that I did, but for now it is time to do some "grounding therapy" and buy some new pants!

So for now here is a blog about getting lost while I was in London, England this past December.

Enjoy it!

"Lost in London"

Since I was a little girl I have loved, love, LOVED going to musicals. I sometimes wish people would break out into spontaneous song and dance, but that is another story. London is the birthplace of virtually every fabulous musical. Okay, that maybe an exaggeration, although London’s West end is full of theaters to the point of being overwhelming. If there is anything worth spinning into a song and dance production it will be done in London. All the talk about how amazing London’s Musical scene was got me very excited to see my first West End Show. Top of the list was “Wicked”. It is Paul’s favorite. He loves it SO much he even has the soundtrack on his iPod.

I have this fabulous memory of Paul belting out the words to ‘defying gravity’, which is the big moment song from the musical, while I listened along on his iPod. We were walking home across the Grandville Bridge in Vancouver. We danced and sang across the bridge looking like complete buffoons, BUT we were having way too much fun to care. I absolutely had to go and see Wicked with Paul while I was in London!

Unfortunately Paul couldn’t take the time off of work to come with me. If I was going to see it, I was on my own. I was totally crushed at first. Mostly because I was feeling sorry for myself due to the fact that I was in London and having to enjoy all these fabulous things all on my own. (Oh woe is me, soooooooo hard done by!) I was really looking forward to share this with Paul, too. It didn’t take me too long to get over myself, and I decided not to be a spoiled brat and went on my own. The evening actually turned out to be a lot of fun. I took myself out for a nice dinner, and had a wonderful time at the show. My seat was amazing, and the show itself was even better. It hit all the right notes in my book! (Pun intended)

The show was fabulous, getting home, however was the real adventure. Since I am so independent and self-reliant I decided that I could make it home on my own. Paul was teaching a class on the other side of town, so I thought, “How hard could it be, right?” As you guessed it, WRONG! Amazingly, I managed to navigate the train lines perfectly, getting all the way to Hither Green station with no fuss. Well, maybe a little fuss. I did spend 15 minutes in a panic on the over ground train to Hither Green because I wasn’t exactly sure I was on the right train. It takes about 18 minutes before the first stop and they don’t announce anything until you are almost there. Good news was I had guessed right. “PHEW! Thank goodness.” I was feeling quite proud of my resoursefulness as we pulled into the station. Little did I know that my luck was about to run out. A 15-minute walk from the flat.

Before going our separate ways earlier in the night Paul left me with these directions”

“Okay, so once you get off the train, head for the exit, go down the ramp, turn left and just follow the people up the road. Ask someone how to get to such and such street and then walk down the road to the apartment. There will be loads of people, really, just follow the crowds and ask anyone for help.”

“Maybe I should write this down?”

“Darling it is SO easy. Just follow the people and ask questions if you need to. You have the keys, so you can let yourself in. Right Darling I’m off. I’ll get the togs out for ”

The train pulled into the station at 10:50 pm, and I was very much looking forward to collapsing into my togs. I got up from my seat and took my position with the crowd of people waiting to get off.

“Okay, here I am. I made it! I am ssssoooo smart, YEAH me! Right focus…Paul said follow the people. I can do this. Oh I am so looking forward to getting out of these stupid high-healed boots and snuggling into my togs. Almost there, follow the people, just follow the people. Then I go down the ramp and turn…. Left. It was left, right? Yes, he definitely said left. Man, the station looks kind of scary in the dark. Oh jeeze I hope nobody pick pockets me, or beats me up. That would be bad. That would be very bad. NO! Don’t think about that. Everything will be okay. Ohm namah shivaya. Ohm namah shivaya. Anyways you can run fast, or hit them with your purse. Gosh this thing weighs a TON! WHAT do I have in here? Bad guys be wear of the flying brick purse. Okay……focus……Deep Breath…here we go, follow the people.” ”

The train doors opened and the mass of people flooded out onto the awaiting platform. As Paul instructed I followed the people. We walked down the platform, up the steps, over the bridge, down the steps and continued to the exit.

“Oh yeah, I am good! Look at me go. I am following the people. PFFFTT. London isn’t so bad after all”

I was happily following the crowd of people like a good little sheep, a smile plastered on my face. It all seemed to be going good – too good, almost. Then I got this sinking feeling that something just didn’t feel quite right. I stopped one of the ladies in the throng to ask her if this was the way to the exit – just to be sure. She informed me that this was indeed the way to AN exit, except there were two exits. The main entrance was back the other way.

“TWO EXITS??? Oh bloody hell, he told me nothing about two bloody exits. Which one was it? ”

I decided that logically I should try the main entrance first. So, back down the platform, up the stairs, over the bridge, down the stairs, up the platform, through the ticket office, and down the ramp I went. I turned left as Paul had instructed and walked out into the surrounding streets, which were now deserted. All the people that I was suppose to follow and ask questions had vanished into thin air! They had cracked on with their lives while I was walking towards the wrong exit.

“Okay Jaime girl, no problem, you can do this. Take a deep breath. Think, think, think. Which way did you go that first day that you were here. ”

I had a somewhat foggy picture in my mind of the walk home, since Paul and I had come home from this station on my very first day. However, I was slightly tipsy and majorly jet lagged - NOT so good for the memory recall. As if trying to relocate a lost item, I scanned my brain for any clues to lead me home.

The dark stillness of the surrounding streets was beginning to freak me out! Naturally, at this very unconvient moment logic and reasoning decided to take a vacation leaving room for panic and doubt to creep in!

“Okay maybe London is THAT bad to navigate after all. I have ABSOLUTLY no idea where I am!”

I walked up the little street hoping that I would see something familiar. I looked up to the street sign, which read, “Westminster St”. I figured it was WAY too common of a name to forget. If Paul had told me this street name I would have remembered. BUT, the street did look kind-of, somewhat possibly familiar, so I set off at a brisk pace down the street making a mental note of the twists and turns I was making in order to get back if needed.

“COULD THIS BE IT? Could it be right, oh I think I am right. Oh sweet Jesus, thank-you. Thank-you. Thank-you!”

Things were looking up! I was feeling like I was on cloud number 9, a tog cloud that is! Somehow I had guessed my way back to the flat in the pitch dark. Gosh I was good! ERCH…. I stopped my “yay, me party” just short of a pat on the back. Upon getting closer and closer to the end of the street I knew that this wasn’t right. So close, yet no cigar!

“AAARRRRGGGGG! All these stupid apartment all look the stupid same, because they are basically the same, only slightly different, but essentially the same. Row after stupid row of identical apartments. It’s a wonder there aren’t more people wandering around the streets of London looking for their apartments. Stupid London!” I grumbled to myself in frustration, and continued to grumble to myself, as I walked up and down the street hoping for something to jog my memory. I surly must have looked like a crazy person!

“Okay, calm down. You can figure this out. You are smart, intelligent and resourceful. Paul must have meant right. He said left, but it must been right. Of course! I surly didn’t get it wrong. I am sooooo looking forward to shoving this in his face!! That’s not childish at all!”

I walked back to the station to see if right could possibly be the right answer. However, when I emerged out onto the other side, right didn’t seem right either. NOW WHAT? I trumpsed back through the station, went up the ramp, through the empty ticket office, up the platform, up the stairs, over the bridge, down the stairs, down the platform and out the second exit. The second exit was for sure not the right way. NOW WHAT???? I was in the right place, yet nothing seemed to be right?

I was slowly starting to work myself up into a nervous wreck as I walked back to the other side of the station. I had no phone and no number to call Paul even if I did. The streets were eerily deserted, so I couldn’t even ask anyone for directions. Besides, in my panic, I had already forgotten the names of the streets I was looking for. What was I going to ask? “Um. Could you possible direct me to my friend Paul’s flat? What do you mean you have no idea who he is!?” I was nervous, frustrated and fighting hard to keep the tears at bay.

“Okay, lets try right again. Surly Paul must have told me wrong! (Walk, walk, walk) Hummmm, maybe? Oh god I am just thinking that it is right because I want it to be right, because then getting lost is less my fault because he said left.” I tried left again. I walked up and down Westminster Street hoping that some act of God to save me. With every pass up and down Westminster St, Beacon Street seemed to be calling to me, like it was luring me to go that way. I figured it was too ironic to be the right street. Also, I was also too chicken to get too far away from the station.

I tend to get emotional at the best, and worst of times. It was getting progressively harder to hold back my tears, now that I was beginning to panic at the hopeless situation.

“What am I going to do, what am I going to do? &*$%! You know God you think your pretty funny don’t cha!?. I know I am going to laugh as soon as I figure this all out, but right now I am NOT having fun, and I am certainly NOT in the laughing mood. Why do these things ALWAYS happen?”

“Really, you don’t feel like laughing? Not even a little bit?” God Replied.

“Wellll…. Maybe a little bit! I guess it is pretty funny.” And then I started to laugh and cry at the same time. Deary me!

After a few deep breaths, I had managed to calm myself down enough to function at a somewhat normal capacity.

“There HAS to be a solution, I know there is. Think, think, think. What is the most logical thing to do?” I tried stomping my feet. That certainly was not logical, and didn’t even feel good either! I still didn’t know what to do and now my feet hurt more then they already did!

“OKAY, take a deep breath……. And another…….. And another…okay, maybe one more. RIGHT, so the reality of the situation is I have COMPLETELY forgotten the names of the streets I am suppose to take, Paul can’t help me because I can’t call him, I have absolutely no back up plan, my feet were killing me, I am not even entirely sure I am in the right place, I am exhausted, completely alone and it is really late…… Awesome!”

With all this in mind, I still could not bring myself to even think about giving up and getting back on a train into the city, to find a hotel for the night. Sheesh, I can be frustrating! Some people may call that complete stubbornness (which really it is!) however I like to think of it as tenacity! That stubborn tenacity is born from a complete faith in myself, wrapped up in the belief that everything will work out in the end. Besides look at all the hilarious stories these adventures leave in the wake. At least that is how I cope with it!

“If only I had a map. I am sure I could figure out how to get to Paul’s flat if I had a map. WHY don’t I have a map?” I thought to myself maki,lng a mental note to never travel without one again.

“Wait a minute, what’s that? Oh my goodness, what is THAT? No it can’t be, can it?” I nearly ran virtually shaking with excitement towards what I thought could be the answer to my prayers. “Thank-you, thank-you, THANK-YOU!” I shouted up towards the heavens, for I was right. Posted on the brick wall outside the station was big old map of the area!

I was filled with elation and disbelief! The first time I walked out of the station I had inkling to walk over to them, but decided to disregarded them, since I thought they were maps of the train lines. (And I was gonna give up THAT easily) All I could do was shake my head and smile at my bull-headedness. The answer had been right in front of me the whole time! “OH WELL, I wouldn’t have this great story to tell if I figured it out from the beginning! Okay, now to actually figure this out.”

It took me a few moments to find the station, since there wasn’t one of those handy “You are Here” stickers. What I really needed was a “You need to be Here” sticker, but no such luck. Since the route didn’t magically appear as I had hoped, it was once again up to logic. Figuring out where I needed to be was proving to be harder then I thought and called for all my powers of deduction. Again, I mentally retraced our steps and replayed our conversations as you would when trying to locate lost items, such as keys, wallets, ect. I do that quite frequently, so I am very adept with this sort of thing!

“Look for land marks. Row house, row house, pub, row house, shop, shop, shop, row house pub…… CHURCH! There is a church.” Paul lives down the street from a church! I remember having a good laugh when Paul pointed it out.

“And this is the Ye ‘ol church of England I attend each Sunday like a good little boy”

“What? You go to church every Sunday? I don’t even go to church! You are full of surprises. OR full of it!”

“HAHAHA! No Darling! You know me better then that! I haven’t been to church for ages. I am actually surprised that I haven’t been struck down by lightening yet. You know living so close to a church while living in my heathen ways and such!”

It took me a few moments to track down the station, but I did, and then went to work on finding my way home.

“Okay, so Paul lives by a church. There is a start. Now which direction would said church be? Okay, there is a school, and another one… What are the chances of the church even being on the map? OOOHH there it is. Oh YEAH, that’s the street that I am looking for. How did I EVER forget St. Sinswithins St??? You know being such a common name and all. Okay, now to just trace the route backwards to the station and…. Son OF A! You have got to be KIDDING ME! “

I HAD to laugh and shake my head when I figured out that Beacon St was, after all, the street that would have solved all my problems in the first place!

“See it IS funny” God laughed down at me.

At this point I didn’t care about my sore feet. I wanted to get home so bad that I took of running. I ran all the way home… well not all quite all the way home. I did have to stop at the top the hill for a moment! When I finally reached the flat, I nearly dropped to my knees, to kiss the front step. I stomped up the stairs, opened the door, and dropped into a puddle on the living room floor.

“DARLING, I was getting worried about you. What happened?”

One look at Paul and I burst into tears. “I GOT LOST,” I wailed. “I have been wondering around outside ALL by myself for HOURS…. Okay well maybe not hours. Maybe only 45 minutes, but it felt like a really long time.” Through my sobs, I continued to regal Paul with my recent adventure. He gave me a hug and told me he was glad that I didn’t get beaten up, robbed, and left for dead. He then handed me a glass of Pinot Gregio – his cure all for everything – and we laughed and laughed and laughed!

Peace, Love and Laughter Y'all!

Wisdom of the willow

So far today has been a very ground day.  It is a gorgeous morning, a nice treat from the cold.  Fridays we have off from our 6 am movement practice, so we can sleep in, take a brake, whatever you need.  Sleeping in, however, is not an option for me!  Not that I don’t want to, I just can’t.  Once my body gets into a routine I am up whether I set an alarm or not!  It was nice NOT to have to get out of bed though!  After spending half an hour day dreaming snuggled up in my “cacoon” of sleeping bags, I decided to do some yoga flow.  It was SO nice to get back to that practice.  I didn’t realize that I had missed it that much.  Yvonne, one of the ladies here with me, joined in and we flowed till breakfast. 

Friday’s are my day to do laundry.   I was swept off to a beautiful countryside somewhere in Tuscany, as I was hanging my wet cloths on the line to dry .  Aaahh, the dolce vita!  I find housework and practical things very grounding!  The lifestyle out here is very different, and it is easy to lose touch with reality.  I can’t believe that I am about to say this, but I am actually missing not making my own meals!

I just got down from Being up in my Willow tree for Tree Time.  Being up in the willow tree is my favorite time of the day.  I have so much clarity up there, like I can think properly.  Somehow lounging in the branches always brings me back to solid ground.  Quite ironic that I climb up 20 feet to get grounded!

I had a rather humurous ehpiny today, while up in the Willow.  I AM a Drama Queen!  I think that I may have blown up everything that I am dealing with here just a teeny tiny eency weeny little bit!  And by My Have I actually mean Know Have!  I laughed histarically up in my tree when I realized the root of all useless suffering.  It is ALL in your head!  We get to CHOOSE how we deal with thing, our attitudes, OUR REALITIES! 

My name is Jaime, and I am an unintentional Drama Queen.  I have no idea why I blow things up so much, and am so hard on myself, like the world is going to end.  News flash – the world is NOT going to end because you screwed up a time or two.  Or someone tells your wrong, or that you can’t do something.  Jeeze!  I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked.  My past is littered with huge overreactions! 

For example, my father wrecked my life at the age of 3.  This story is actually quite funny.  One afternoon I come storming into the house, tears streaming down my face, doors slamming in my wake, and threw myself onto my bed.  My mother was close at my heels, wondering what in mercival heaven could cause her peaceful abode to be flooded by a tempermental toddler.

“What’s wrong honey?” she asked me in her soothing, motherly voice, concern painted all over her face.

I threw my arm over my eyes and remarked, “Daddy wrecked my life” and turn to cry into my pillow.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked

“NO” I wailed.

My mother was determined to get to the bottom of this.  What had happened that would have caused the world of her precious little princess’s life to be ruined?

My mother found my father outside with my older brother.

“What did you do to our Daughter?  Apparently her life is ruined”

My father shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I told her she couldn’t play in the sandbox while Mark and I fix the swing set and she stomped off”

You see it’s just in my nature!  Something I am working on that’s for sure, but as they say’ “it’s part of the process, and perfect as it is”  Even thought I am very relieved I was able to get out of my whoe-is-me mentality, get out of my head and laugh it off, which by the way is essential, I must not forget the importance of what I was actually dealing with.  It is essential to not loose the lesson, otherwise that suffering, which is part of this refinement process called life, was in actually fact useless suffering.  Some “suffering” is useful in our lives.  It is through these hard processes that we are taught essential lessons, that build character and encourage us to grow. It is when we stay in that place and become the victim that we put ourselves through useless suffering.  (BUT in actual fact, it is not, because every lesson is sacred, and it is perfect as it is.  That being said – for you to be the radient being you are, there will come a time when you have to step back and laugh at yourself for being so silly.  Hopefully that is sooner rather than later)

So here is the wisdom of the willow tree thus far:

·      Trust in yourself, in others, and in the journey.  Everything is going to workout, so CHOOSE to be happy.

·      Build yourself a stable foundation to stand on, allowing you to stand in your power with the courage to be yourself. 

·      Be flexible.  Live your life from moment to moment.  When the winds of change are blowing, go with the flow.  Everything is gonna be alright.

·      Stop giving yourself such a hard time.  It’s not worth suffering over.

·      No one is expecting you to be perfect.  Give yourself permission to be human, make mistakes, learn from them, have a good laugh, and then move on.

·      You don’t have to go it alone.  Let people help you along the way.

·      Your world isn’t ending.  Something new is beginning every moment, so get out of your own way and enjoy it!

A note to myself:

Stop running towards the finish line, the only thing that awaits you there is the end!  The end comes when the journey is finished.  When your done learning, your done living.  JUST in case you’ve forgotten, you’ve only just begun!  Stay a while – smell the roses, the water is fine, and all those other silly sayings.  Oh ya, and I love you just the way you are!

 written Friday, June 5th 2009

Being okay with being nobody

I find that I have been asking myself the question, “What am I doing here?” quite frequently.  Really, what am I doing here?  I have come to the conclusion that I don’t know!  I DON’T KNOW!  Up until now I have rarely been okay with this answer.  Right now, not only is this an acceptable answer for me, it is also the best one.  My intention for being here was to learn EVERYTHING so that I could run a highly successful retreat centre.  A pretty unrealistic goal for myself at this present moment!  Not because I can’t do it.  I could do it if I really wanted to, but is that something I really want to be doing at 23? The answer… no, eventually YES.   In this present moment, right now, I want to experience the joys of being young, and crazy!  Not run a centre.  I think I forgot that I was 23 years old and that I don’t need to have all the answers right now.  I don’t think we ever have all the answers, anyways.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to figure things out.  I love a good puzzle.  However, you can’t define your life as a puzzle if you want to live in the present moment, or rather, if you want to live free. 

I also discovered that it is okay to be “nothing”.  This is a somewhat difficult concept for me.  I have always been able to define myself as “something”.  I don’t really know what it feels like to be “nothing”.  For most people, myself included, it is scary to let go of the illusion of control we desperately cling to.  I put so much pressure on myself of WHAT I am suppose to do, that I got trapped planning my whole life, instead of just LIVING it!  Again, don’t need all the answers.  This isn’t a test.  No one is going stick a grade to my life, or my “life plans”.

Life is a journey.  How many times have you heard that right?  But it is, plain and simple.  Not every day is going to be peaches and cream.  How could it be?  Would you really want it to be?  Diversity is the spice of life, right?  Another overused saying that rings true to the core.  Every situation we encounter in life is an opportunity for each of us to grow, and learn.  Life is full of lessons – “good” “bad” who cares?  Take the lesson and move on to the next one! 

It is true, however that there is more productive ways tackle challenges than others, which all stem from your ability to know yourself.  It’s about being honest with yourself about who you really are AND being stable in that place.  However, stability doesn’t mean being rigid. 

Take the willow tree for example.  I have been spending a fair bit of time in a 20-foot willow tree since being here.  Nature has many lessons to teach us if we open our eyes to them.  The willow tree teaches us the art of fluid stability.  The roots of this mighty tree run deep, keeping it grounded, sturdy in its core.  Yet it is flexible.  The willow has the ability to sway, and flow with whatever situation life throws its way.

I experienced this first hand one particularly windy afternoon.  While I was sitting up in the tree, nestled in my perch, the willow tree was literally rocking from side-to-side.  (When I got back to the ground I actually felt like I had just gotten off of a boat!)  This didn’t frighten me one bit.  I probably should have been thinking, “hhhuuummm, maybe this is a little dangerous”, however all that I could think about was, “So this is what they mean by trusting the process.”  There will be heavy “winds” in life, you know the ones that shake you to the core attempting to blow you over.  This is no reason to jump out of the tree!  If you come from a place of fluid stability you can face anything life blows your way!  You can be FREE, all you have to do is choose your attitude.

The follow is something I wrote down my first couple of days here.  I brought the book Eat, Pray, Love with me and while looking for another quote in the book this one kept coming back to me.  The third time the book feel open to this page, I figured that maybe this was something I needed to read.  I rewrote it slightly so that it made more sense to me.

Enjoy -

Instructions for Freedom:

1) Life’s metaphors are God’s instructions

2) There is nothing between you and the infinite.  Realize this & Let go

3) Each time the sun sets, it is a time for something that was beautiful to turn into something else that is beautiful.  Now let go

4) Your wish for resolution was a prayer.  Your being here is God’s response. 

5) Open up your heart to let the sun shine in.  Let your heart overflow with the golden light encouraging new things to grow.  Positive things.  Loving things.  All sorts of wonderful things!

6) With all your heart ask for grace & then Let Go.

7) Forgive anyone who has ever hurt you – including yourself & then Let Go.

8) Let your intension be freedom from useless suffering & then Let Go.

9) Surrender to the rhythms and cycles of life.  Everything has a season.  

10) There is a difference between living life while going through the motions and living life while experiencing the motions.  Chose to be ALIVE in every moment.

11) When the past has passed from you at last, LET GO.  Then begin the rest of your life with great JOY.

12) Oh ya, and Let Go!

 

Tuesday, May 26

 

 

 

 

Be Body Wise

Last night the whole centre ventured the 30 minutes into London to hear Shantree speak about forest gardening.  Coming back was a very different feeling for me.  We arrived home about 10 O’clock that evening.  It felt weird being on the highway with the business of the world wizzing by.  Everything is so simple and scerene on the “ranch” that it is easy to forget that a world of chaos exists all around us.  I was surprised at the feelings that emerged as we pulled into the drive – comfort and happiness resonated in my heart.  It felt like coming “home”.  I was able to be at peace with my meantime home in this moment in time.  A drastic change to my thoughts of running away only a week prior!  I was actually excited to snuggle up in my sleeping bag out in my big red tent!

Earlier that day, Shantree had decided to ride with us on our way into London.  I wasted no opportunities to pick his brain, and indulge my curiosity.  The talk that we had about our constitutions was fresh in my mind, and I was eager to put an action plan in motion.  I felt a new sense of energy since it became clear to me where I need to go in order to bring my body back into balance.  The trick is how do I get there?  There are many “travel agents” that can help us plan our routes down this path of life.  Shantree understands the higways systems very well, so I am always glad for his advice.  The most fascinating thing I learnt from our conversation, however, was not which herbs, foods, or lifestyle improvements that could act as my highways to balance. 

The most fascinating thing I learnt while chatting together had nothing to do with the answers he gave me.  It was the realization that I already HAD all the answers to my questions the ENTIRE TIME!  My body has been pulling me towards the solutions to the questions I was asking.  This is very exciting to me to know that I am not a factury defect.  That I possess the ability to tend to my body’s ever changing needs.  Now, the somewhat frusterating thing is that I didn’t 100% trust where these little urges were coming from.  My body was telling me to eat every food that Shantree rattled off the top of his head, and impliment, supplement certain things into my lifestyle.  EXCITING – I know what I need.  FRUSTERATING – I not trusting that I know what I need.  Why is this?  Because I was getting in my own way, that’s why! I thought that my mind, and other people knew better then my body.  Which, I am finding out, is never the case.  The body never lies.

A lot of the foods that I was craving are more suited for Vattas, and ones Pittas should, for the most part, steer clear of.  (Helpful reminder: I am a dominent Pitta, with a Vatta imbalanace)  This lead me to think, “No body, that is not what we need.  That is Vatta food.  We are a Pitta, remember?”  OKAY, now here is the amazing part.  When you have an imbalance of one of the doshas in your body, you first need to balance out the imbalanced dosha, while also taking into consideration your constitution.  When this is achieved you then return to your Dosha specific diet.  Learning that was like turning on the light switch – BING!  “So, I really DID know what I need – Holy Poop, we all know what we need.  We just need to listen and TRUST!  Why is it that you don’t know that you know what you know until you know it, you know? And why does it seem like the hardest questions have the simplest answers?  Oh the joys of being human!

Here are some guidelines for being Human:  (Adapted from Rob Bishop)

1)   You will receive a body.  It will be yours for your entire life.  You may love it, or hate it.  The choice is yours.

2)   There are no mistakes, only lessons.  Growth is the process of trial, error and experimentation.  “Failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as “successful” ones.

3)   You will learn lessons.  Each one of us is enrolled in the informal, full-time, never ending School of Life.  Everyday you are given the opportunity to learn lessons.  You may like the lessons, or decide that they are irrelevant and stupid.  Again the choice is yours.

4)   A lesson is repeated until it is learnt.  A lesson will present itself in many forms until you have learnt it.  Once you have learned it, you can then go onto the next one.

5)   The process of learning lessons doesn’t stop.  Every part of life contains lessons.  As a general rule of thumb – if you are breathing, you are living, and if you are living then there are lessons to be learnt.

6)   Being “There” is no better to being “Here”.  When your “There” becomes your “Here”, you will simply obtain another “There” that will again, look better than “Here”

7)   Other People are simply mirrors of what you see in yourself.  You cannot Love, or Hate something about another person, unless it reflects something that you Love or Hate in yourself.

8)   What you make of your life is up to YOU.  You have all the tools and resources that you will ever need.  What you choose to do with them is up to you. 

9)   All the answers to all Life’s questions, your questions, are inside you.  All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

10)You will either choose to forget this, or you will choose to remember it.

11)IF you choose to remember, you will know that with forgiveness, love, laughter AND TRUST, you will embrace ALL that is yours, TAKE your place as a guide and LIVE a life in absolute abundance, love and ADVENTURE.

 

Peace, Love and Laughter y’all!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Do what you Love, Love what you do.

Today I made peace with the Greenhouse.  I actually enjoyed my time with the plants.  The process of watering all of them is tedious and long, but can be very medicinal.  When Shantree first told me that I was going to be the Greenhouse Diva for the next few weeks I thought, “Great, a new challenge for me to tackle!  This is going to be fun.”  Although after about 5 minutes on my own I wasn’t feeling such inthusasium.  In fact I was angry.  I hated going into the greenhouse, well not hated (because in my family “we don’t hate”), but I definitely had very strong negative feelings towards this particular job.  My time in the greenhouse felt like being in a cage.  I felt totally trapped.  Really, it became a prison of my own creation. 

I came to the centre determined to learn EVERYTHING and be SUCCESSFUL.  Which is NOT a bad thing, but how I decided to project that was not very helpful to my growth.  Since I decided (subconsciously) to exist in a self imposed prison I thought, “What the heck.  I am here to learn, WHY am I stuck in here all by myself without a clue as to what I am suppose to be doing?  Nobody is teaching me anything.  Besides, this is not my work.  I have nothing to do with these plants.  They are the product of someone else’s work.  I should be out in the garden, or in the kitchen learning something.”  I was totally blind to the unspoken lessons you begin to pick up when you slow down, open your eyes and listen. 

Somehow along the path of life I got myself stuck on a track, a track of a speeding train going nowhere fast.  I became so wrapped up in myself, trying to do everything right and being perfect, as well as what my future held for me, that I stopped being totally present to what was actually going on around me.  I mean I wasn’t totally submerged, I was still able to come up for air – especially when dealing with other people.  When dealing with myself however, I wasn’t completely present. 

It is truly fascinating how are minds, or our egos, can so easily lie to us, telling us what they need us to hear.  This ego of ours is a double-edged sword, that is an integral part of our built in survival mechanisms.  The ego is there to serve our best interests, because our ego wants us to survive.  When it is necessary our ego will step in to do damage control until we are ready to deal with the emotions, or situations that cause us dis-ease.  The trouble starts when we forget to go back and do the work.  Meltdowns occur when things keep piling up and we are already so far behind.

What I am starting to learn is how essential it really is to listen to the advice our bodies are trying to communicate to us.  Not only is it hard to hear our bodies due to all the mental clutter, but also most of us have stopped looking inside ourselves for the answers.  Instead we look externally for the solutions to our happiness. 

I have never had a hard time hearing what my body has been telling me.  What I have been struggling with is the act of Listening and following what I am being told.  As I slowly start to sink into the simplicity of being here at the centre, and consciously start to take back the reigns to my own life I am flabbergasted by how much I actually did know that I needed.   Which is EXCITING, but kind of make me want to bang my head against a wall for not taking the necessary steps towards giving it to myself.   BUT, it also makes me rejoice because now that I am understanding the reasons behind these impulses I can accommodate myself even better!

I am still not too overly fussy about being in the greenhouse, but I have chosen to change my attitude and enjoy myself.  The work needs to get done, so I may as well have fun while I am doing it!

Food for thought:  It is true that you should do what you love, but it is also true that you also should love what you do – even if it is not what you love. 

Peace, Love and Laughter y’all!

Wednesday, May 27

The Day Before the First

SO, today is the day!  I can’t believe it but it is finally here.  Today is day one of a 3-month intensive in self-healing and self-empowerment.  I am here to do the work and gain the tools and knowledge in order to pass on the lessons to as many people as I can.  I am excited, but determined to venture there with an empty cup.  I have no idea where this journey will take me, but I am here and I am present.  I am ready to take the steps and go with the flow.  We are always growing, changing, evolving, but I know I will still be me when I come out the other side.  Stayed tuned because there is going to be some pretty amazing stuff to pass on, or at least some great stories.

This morning when Anna asked me how I was feeling and I answered after a deep breath– Ready.  And the truth is I am ready to walk the path of the peaceful warrior.  I was feeling a few pangs of anxiousness over the last few days of our 30-hour trip thinking, “WHAT have I gotten myself into?  Am I really for this?  Is this really what I want?”  But now that I am here I feel like it is something that I need to experience. 

It is almost time for Anna’s journey to come to a close.  We are leaving for the airport in 10 or so minutes where I will drop her off and then venture out to the centre.  I can’t believe that we made it all the way without killing each other, but we did!  It was one heck of a long drive!  It is amazing to me actually how big and diverse our country is.  The scenery we pass was as different as our conversations!    It was amazing to experience, one that I am glad I got a chance to share with m cousin even though it was so incredibly long. 

I will be glad to have my parents with me on the drive home, because I am going to make them drive while I sit co-pilot and take in the scenery!  I ended up driving the whole way!  I found that the first day was easy for me, especially now that I have done so many long hour car trips.  The second day was more of a challenge, however.   After the second straight day of 12 driving for 12 hours I was exhausted!  I could barely keep my eyes open when we got to the hotel.  Day three was not so bad.  Probably because I knew that we only had 6 hours left!  The drive through Michagin is very nice.  Lots of trees and greenery to make you feel grateful – the 110 speed limit and double lane highway was not to shabby as well!

We managed to make it to London virtually unscathed.  I only got pulled over once by the cops for doing 113km – he gave me a warning, but since I didn’t have my driver’s license (lost it somewhere) I got a ticket for that (shoot!).  Anna got us stopped at the border for bringing tobacco and Alcohol into the country.  Appearntly that’s a no go when your only out of the country for 3 hours!  Guess we should have looked into that!  Everything turned out fine.  Anna just had to pay the tax.  Could have been a lot worse.

 The highlights of the trip would have to be: stopping in Konora (so beautiful), driving through Northern Ontario (esp Lake of the Woods), building an innukshuk on the side of the Trans Canada, seeing the Terry Fox memorial sight, as well as, the birth place of Winnie-the-pooh AND FINALLY getting to the hotel in London.  II almost cried I was so happy!  Last night, our final night together, we kicked back at a local mexicano cantena for guacamole (I still make better, but I am not biased what so ever!) and lime margarettas!  We wrapped up the evening with a walk and a relaxing evening spent in the hotel room watching a movie.  All-in-all a great trip!

More to come,

Peace, Love and Laughter Y’all

The first day

I arrived at the centre in the late morning.  Everyone was there to greet me and help me get settled into my new living space, which happens to be a big red tent!  It definitely is cozy and roughing it.  Good thing I am open minded!  I will be grateful to have a place of my own that I can retreat to – even if it is a tent.  My little community is behind the vegitable garden, and beside the pear trees.  We share an outdoor shower, an open wash area and port-a-poties (could be interesting).  There is a spring fed pond to swim in, as well as, many beautiful sitting areas and trees to sit under.  There is an indoor common space where we can “plug in”, watch movies, and hangout called the Hive! 

My first impression of the centre feels like being at a non-scary, laid back, country ashram!  The people here seem to be very nice.  I look forward to getting to know them better!  I have met one of my teachers, Shantre.  He seems totally different then I first thought.  Way less intimidating and very welcoming. 

Time will only tell!

Peace, Love and Laughter y’all

I arrived at the centre in the late morning.  Everyone was there to greet me and help me get settled into my new living space, which happens to be a big red tent!  It definitely is cozy and roughing it.  Good thing I am open minded!  I will be grateful to have a place of my own that I can retreat to – even if it is a tent.  My little community is behind the vegitable garden, and beside the pear trees.  We share an outdoor shower, an open wash area and port-a-poties (could be interesting).  There is a spring fed pond to swim in, as well as, many beautiful sitting areas and trees to sit under.  There is an indoor common space where we can “plug in”, watch movies, and hangout called the Hive! 

My first impression of the centre feels like being at a non-scary, laid back, country ashram!  The people here seem to be very nice.  I look forward to getting to know them better!  I have met one of my teachers, Shantre.  He seems totally different then I first thought.  Way less intimidating and very welcoming. 

Time will only tell!

Peace, Love and Laughter y’all

The first night

At the end of day one I feel that this whole roughing it is really not that bad, at least that is what I am telling myself.  I was feeling a little disappointed, I don’t think that is the right word, maybe it was overwhelmed, or maybe just not what I expected.  Even though everyone was so welcoming and the grounds are so pretty I defiantly haven’t been feeling that sense of peace I had this morning.  It wasn’t until I sat down and started to write about it that my attitude began to change.  I am so lucky to even have this opportunity.  I’ll get into a new routine soon enough and then I will wonder why I was ever feeling weird about it in the first place! 

It takes time to settle into a new rhythm.  There isn’t much comfort in the unknown.  However I am going to keep an open mind and stay positive.    

Peace, Love and Laughter y’all!

The Other Day

OKAY, so my first night was not that great.  I am not sure why, but I felt more alone then I have in a very long time.  Everyone was so welcoming, but they also have their own rhythms.  I know I will fit in soon enough, but last night I couldn’t help but look up to the heavens and wonder,

“WHAT AM I DOING HERE?  I am covered in misqueto bites, living in a tent, cold, and all alone.  I must be INSANE!  I don’t think that I am going to make it.  I want to go home so bad.  I don’t think this is for me.   Again a whole new set of people, a whole new way of life.  This is TOO MUCH.  What was I thinking?“

I was so upset that I cried myself to sleep like a sad, scared little child.  (I know!  I am working hard on that whole honoring yet being in charge of your emotions.  It is a process, Right?)

 In the middle of the night I had to go to the bathroom so bad, yet could bring myself to make the hike to the outhouse that I ended up peeing in one of my water bottles!  I washed it thoroughly this morning!  (Who knew all my years of  getting drug tested and peeing into a cup would paid off someday! EEEWWW!)

Despite my not-so-smooth first night at the centre I did wake up this morning with a positive outlook.  Even though it was only 5:40 and I already had 3 misquito bites, as I trekked down to the wash station to get ready for the day (and clean my water bottle with massive amounts of soap) I felt recharged.  The air was so crisp and fresh, the birds were singing their sweet morning melodies, and I had made it through the night.

This is a huge change I am making and I have to give myself credit for jumping in.  I am not entirely sure how far down this rabbit hole I want to enter.  I still want to function in my world, while adding as much from this world that is functional.  It is the balancing act that I am destined and determined to figure out.   One of my favorite things we do each day is take a break mid-morning.  It is called tree time.  Everyone grabs an apple and spends ½ and hour by a tree, or in my case IN the tree.  It is so fun to reconnect with a childhood passion of climbing trees.  Somehow I always feel more at peace in the air then on the ground!

Another great thing is that we all eat together.  That has always been a big thing in my family and I find comfort in it.  So far, I am thoroughly enjoying the food!  Everything is amazing!  I can’t wait to get into the kitchen and learn EVERYTHING.  Lasagna was served at lunchtime.  Which was also very comforting, since it is one of my mother’s specialties.  Today I worked in the garden with Ron and Jason, the forest gardening apprentices.  It was fun, but it definitely isn’t a calling.  I am going to ask Shantree and Lorena tomorrow if I can move into the kitchen. 

As for my transition here I keep reminding myself that each day will get easier.   It seems crazy that I have pick up and gone away again.  I was really starting to enjoy being in Saskatoon with my friends and family.  I just need to give myself time to adjust

Peace, Love and Laughter y’all

Yesterday

The past few days I have really been struggling with myself.  A few very important feelings have surfaced in my conscious mind.  One, I don’t want to be here right now.  Two, I am not sure if this is what I really want to be doing with my life.  Three, even though I am still certain of creating the Lalilo wellness center, I am fairly certin it is not right for me now, like I have gotten here before my time.  Four, despite STILL wanting to create Lalilo Wellness I do see myself as the “producer” rather then the director.  As in, I want to create this wonderful centre as a place to house many talented individuals to do many extradionary things.  I have a lot of living to do before I am ready for this! 

I have been running from a lot of my problems for a while.  I understand that now.  It was essential for me to take a break from “reality” after pushing the boundaries of my physical and mental limits for so long in an environment that no longer brought me joy.  I needed to take the time for myself, to heal, and discover what was next for me.  However, somehow in this process I got lost in thinking what I needed to do was what I wanted to do.  I began to throw myself into healing future clients problems, instead of working through my own issues.  It was a lot easier for me to work on someone else’s hypothetical problems then to face my own.  Also, in discovering that my life had to change I pushed away anything and anybody that was related to the world of sports.  In a way, completely disengaging brought me to a place where I lost touch with reality – my own reality anyways. 

Thankfully there is good news for me!   In taking all these courses I have all the lessons, guidance and teachings to actually do the work for myself!  As well I was able to pass along my findings to anyone who wanted to listen – not so bad!  Also, I am NOW open to actually hear what my inner voice is telling – if not yelling - at me.  It also doesn’t seem so scary to actually listen and follow through, considering it is so rewarding.

So the big question is what about this raw-food veganism stuff?  I am going to continue to approach it as I have until now.  I totally see the importance of fresh fruits and veggies and love how I feel, so that will stay.  I love my greenies, so that is for sure going to stay as well.  My delicious raw granola with fresh almond milk is DEFINITELY staying.  Nuts, seeds and sprouts can stay too!  I look forward to experimenting and trying new recipes while staying laid back about it.  The most important thing is about being happy and loving life.  What I am trying to say is I am not going to freak out and feel guilty if I eat some cooked food here or some yummy salmon sashmi there! 

Peace, Love and Laughter Y’all.

Today 

Right Now

Today I sat down with Shantree and Lorena to check in.  We had a great talk, and so many things came to the surface.  I was real with my feelings and told them exactly how I was feeling without being scared, or judging myself if that was the right thing to do or say.  I am still lost and confused, but I know that I need to be here.  I need to let go of the fight I am having with myself.  I have been struggling for so long to project this image of what I think other people want me to be.  I am exhausted and I am going to take the time to heal me and get off the speeding train that has become my life.  I never gave myself the time I needed to unwind after the craziness of the Olympics and have been fighting to keep my head above the water ever since.  I feel as thought I am going to have to tune out a bit and just spend some time with me and explore.  If you don’t hear from me don’t worry.  I am healing and will write when I can.

Peace, Love and Laughter

Drive to London, Ontario - Day 1

My “pilgrimage” out east started this morning at my parent’s home in Saskatoon at 7:00 in the morning.  Tonight it has ended here in Dryden, Ontario.  My cousin Anna and myself have stopped for the night, 13 hours and many kilometers away from the comforts of our beds.  We are spending the night at the Evening Star Motel, a “quaint” little place with “kitchenettes”.  I would say it is cozy.  Anna, on the other hand, would describe it as “a flea-bag motel”. Somewhere in between lies the truth!  I like it because I feel like I am on an adventure, and she can't complain because said she didn’t care where we stayed!  I am sure Anna would have preferred the Comfort, Holliday, or other corporate “Inn” that I blew past.  I am not sure why, but somehow my adventurous spirit always seems to lead me to these places.   That, or due to my inherent inability to turn around and go back I eventually end up stopping at a place that looks good enough! 

It has been a lovely trip so far.  I think Anna is a little tuckered out.  She isn’t the seasoned road warrior as myself, but she is great company.   We just had a good laugh at our different states. 

“Your just a big ball of energy aren’t you.  Geeze, you’ve been up since the crack of dawn, drove for 13 hours, went for a run and are no typing away, content as you like.   Here I am exhausted and ready for bed.  What have I done today?  Sat in the front seat as the worlds worst co-pilot and I can barely keep my eyes open!  Sheesh.”  

The power of the greenies continues to amaze me!  Also, Anna did forewarn me about her lack of navigational skills, not that I needed them mind you.  I think I have made about 4 exits in total!  The drive is easy and very beautiful.  There are lots of trees, rocks and lakes to keep one in a continuous state of awe.  There is no room in my mind to be tired! 

We made great time so far.  Growing up with my father, and spending 4 years on the bobsleigh circuit, which is basically a 5 month road trip, I have learnt that you stop to gas up and that’s it!  We ate our packed lunches in the car and stopped in Kenora, Ontario for Dinner.  Kenora is lovely!  It is this beautiful lake town/city.  It reminds me of a more rugged Whistler.  We chose to have dinner down by the bay.  We stopped in at the Best Western Hotel, which I know sounds kind of wanh-wanh, but the view was A-MAZ-ING!  The restaurant is on top of the hotel, which happens to be round, with a view out onto the bay.  The sun was setting as we dinned on fresh salads!   What more could you ask for.  I was feeling particularly good so we pressed on.  I let Anna sleep and jammed out to my iPod.  My singing must not have been that bad, or the music was loud enough to drown me out because she slept like a little angel.

Time for me to sign off, seeing as we have another two long days ahead of us.

Peace, Love and Laughter Y’all!

The Final Count Down!

My bags are almost packed and I am ready to go!  I can’t believe how fast the time has flown by, but it is just about time to head out east for my 3-month granola-head apprenticeship.  I am ready to hit the open road for another momentous adventure.  I decided to drive out to London, Ontario and it is going to take about 30 hours to get to get there!  YIKES!  My cousin Anna is coming along for the ride and I am very grateful to have her company as we rack up the mile, jam out to the iPod and take in the beautiful countryside.

I am starting to get really excited.  I am still not quite sure how to put into words exactly what I have gotten myself into for the summer, however it will unfold as it happens.  It is something that I am just going to have to experience in order to truly express!  I have really enjoyed the preliminary study material and am looking forward to putting all the practical knowledge into action.  It excites me to know all the good I will be able to do, as well as, all the people I will be able to help live happier, healthier lives.

 One of the biggest things that came to me is that life is not about being perfect.  It is about showing up, being present and LIVING.  Being happy everyday no matter your size, shape, or condition.  We are constantly being bombarded with the “should be’s” of life, and it is very easy to get caught up in it all.  We live in stressful times, and have roles, duties and responsibilities that drain our internal batteries.  Instead of getting caught up in the have to’s of life, focus on living a life full of get to’s.  Everyday there is something to be grateful for beyond the fact that you have yet another day to Live, to laugh, to LOVE.  Whatever, whoever it is that recharge your batteries celebrate that and be grateful for it.  It takes courage to live through your heart, but it is well worth stepping out on the edge.

Of the many things that I am grateful for, being given this amazing opportunity is high on the list.  It shall be a truly amazing journey and I look forward to sharing it!

Peace, love and Laughter y’all! 

J’aime

Ye 'Ol English Fun - Take One

I awoke the next morning surprised, followed closely by startled.  I was happily surprised that I had slept the WHOLE night through!  With jet lag the first few nights are usually spent plotting the destruction of the clock for reminding you that it has only been half an hour since the last time you ever-so-slightly opened an eyelid hoping, praying that it has been more then half an hour.  But alas it usually tells you what you already know: that it is 4:00, 4:30, 5:00, ect, ect, ect, and you are going to spend yet another day in a foggy daze!  However, I must have done something to appease the God’s for when I peeped through the tiny crack of my eyelid I saw something quite unusual, Daylight!  Yippie, I had slept the night through.  It was only 6:30 though, so I decided to treat myself and snuggle in for a little more shuteye!  “OOOOO, Heavenly” I thought as I drifted back to dreamland wrapped up in my personal cloud of togs.  That’s when ‘Surprised’s’ beastly little brother ‘Startled’ came in to rain on my parade!  Paul was up and yelling at me to get my lazy butt out of bed.  “What is going on?  What happened to dreamland?”  I thought to myself.  I tried to ignore him at first, but the possibility of ignoring Paul Brookland Williams is like trying to ignore a bull in a china shop – not possible.  I reluctantly realized that dreamland would have to wait and threw up the white flag.  “I give up, I surrender.  I’m up.  I’m UP” 

This was NOT my usual wake up call at all.  Typically when something other than my alarm clock wakes me up it is my mother, whose voice takes on an angelic tone while she tiptoes into my bedroom to gently nudge me awake.  “Gooooooo - ooooooooddddddddd mor - nnnnnnniiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg sleepyhead.  Rise-and-shinnnn-nnnnnneeeeeeeeee.  It’s a beautiful day today,” she would coo at me.  Whereas Paul decided to throw open the door with a BANG, jump on my bed and sing out at the top of his lungs, “DARLING, I am awake and it’s all about me, right?  Get up, get up, GET UP and great yet another foggy day in London town!” He was half kidding about it being just about him, but there was no WAY he was letting me go back to bed. 

Over breakfast Paul gave me an unexpected and rather unwanted gift … a Reality-check!  A big, fat, hunk of reality!!  As he informed me of the schedule for the next couple of days, an alarming pattern started to emerge.  My idea of a personal tour guide was slowly starting to unravel.  I was under the impression that Paul was cutting back on all the exercise classes he taught while I was in London.  I was delighted for him to show me everything.  To his credit he did cut back on classes, BUT since he works like a crazy person his cut back schedule resembled that of a normal person.   My first few days were spent wandering around different areas of London while Paul taught Pilates, dance, water aerobic and other such things.   Would go off on my own while he taught and then meet up with him again after he was done. A few times I even joined in on the fun!  There really isn’t much you can do in London, by yourself for an hour!  I had no phone and no way of reaching Paul if I got lost or lost track of the time, so for the most part I stayed close by and window shopped.

Paul did his best to show me the highlights of London while on his breaks.  Considering his total distaste for touristy things he did very good.  It may not have been accurate, but it was always humorous.  Paul has a knack for making anything and everything fun since he is naturally hilarious, quit possibly one of the funniest people I know, and COMPLETELY over the top!  Paul grew up on the stage and has performed in many productions including the musical The Starlight Express for 7 years.  The world is one big stage to him and as such everything is a production and performance. 

The first touristy thing Paul took me to see was Trafalgar Square, the very center of London (the center of the universe as the English like to say!), and home to a very tall statue of some famous guy, who, I am assuming, won the battle of Trafalgar.   The four famous lion’s of London sit in the four corners of the square, where each one is showcased on top of a massive concrete block.   Paul somehow convinced me to climb on top of one of the blocks to get my picture beside the lion, which is something I would never do!  He snapped the picture and then told me to hurry down before the police arrested me.  Might have been good to know before I climbed up here – just saying!  I scrambled down as fast as I could to find Paul laughing at me.  Apparently he was kidding! 

After our fun in the square, Paul took me to the ye ‘ol English Pizza express, where we treated ourselves to Pizza and pinot grigio (of course!)   After we filled our bellies we walked around the town and had a spin on a carousel.  It was either, go on the London Eye by myself, or take a spin on the carousel with Paul.  Later on, I had the pleasure of visiting the Ye ‘ol English Starbucks – which according to Paul was founded in the Elizabethan era wherst the Queen would frequently visit for her afternoon tea and biscuits!  Here we indulged chai lattes and crispy Belgian chocolate squares.  Very English you know!  Another highlight of the day was going to the Argos Catalog store (same concept as the Sears catalog), since Paul needed to pick up pressies for his niece and nephew.  The catalog store is not so much of a store as it is a warehouse full of the contents in the magazine.  Instead of browsing for the items yourself, you instead look through the magazine, find what you want, put the item code on a piece of paper, put your order in with the clerk, pay for it, take a number and then sit in the waiting area until they call said number to hand over the goods.  As we waited for Paul’s number to be called we had a ‘jolly good time’ chatting with all the elder ladies!  He picked up the dolly that his niece wanted - Row-say with stri-pay tights (I am trying to simulate her accent because it was so gosh darn cute!) and a pop up Thomas the Train thingy that has suspenders so you can run around and pretend to be a train.  We may or may not have tried it on, and it may or may not have been super funny.  We rounded out the day with one more Pilates class, an hour tube ride home and of course an episode of Pushing Daisies in the comfort of our togs!