So far today has been a very ground day. It is a gorgeous morning, a nice treat from the cold. Fridays we have off from our 6 am movement practice, so we can sleep in, take a brake, whatever you need. Sleeping in, however, is not an option for me! Not that I don’t want to, I just can’t. Once my body gets into a routine I am up whether I set an alarm or not! It was nice NOT to have to get out of bed though! After spending half an hour day dreaming snuggled up in my “cacoon” of sleeping bags, I decided to do some yoga flow. It was SO nice to get back to that practice. I didn’t realize that I had missed it that much. Yvonne, one of the ladies here with me, joined in and we flowed till breakfast.
Friday’s are my day to do laundry. I was swept off to a beautiful countryside somewhere in Tuscany, as I was hanging my wet cloths on the line to dry . Aaahh, the dolce vita! I find housework and practical things very grounding! The lifestyle out here is very different, and it is easy to lose touch with reality. I can’t believe that I am about to say this, but I am actually missing not making my own meals!
I just got down from Being up in my Willow tree for Tree Time. Being up in the willow tree is my favorite time of the day. I have so much clarity up there, like I can think properly. Somehow lounging in the branches always brings me back to solid ground. Quite ironic that I climb up 20 feet to get grounded!
I had a rather humurous ehpiny today, while up in the Willow. I AM a Drama Queen! I think that I may have blown up everything that I am dealing with here just a teeny tiny eency weeny little bit! And by My Have I actually mean Know Have! I laughed histarically up in my tree when I realized the root of all useless suffering. It is ALL in your head! We get to CHOOSE how we deal with thing, our attitudes, OUR REALITIES!
My name is Jaime, and I am an unintentional Drama Queen. I have no idea why I blow things up so much, and am so hard on myself, like the world is going to end. News flash – the world is NOT going to end because you screwed up a time or two. Or someone tells your wrong, or that you can’t do something. Jeeze! I guess I shouldn’t be too shocked. My past is littered with huge overreactions!
For example, my father wrecked my life at the age of 3. This story is actually quite funny. One afternoon I come storming into the house, tears streaming down my face, doors slamming in my wake, and threw myself onto my bed. My mother was close at my heels, wondering what in mercival heaven could cause her peaceful abode to be flooded by a tempermental toddler.
“What’s wrong honey?” she asked me in her soothing, motherly voice, concern painted all over her face.
I threw my arm over my eyes and remarked, “Daddy wrecked my life” and turn to cry into my pillow.
“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked
“NO” I wailed.
My mother was determined to get to the bottom of this. What had happened that would have caused the world of her precious little princess’s life to be ruined?
My mother found my father outside with my older brother.
“What did you do to our Daughter? Apparently her life is ruined”
My father shrugged. “I don’t know. I told her she couldn’t play in the sandbox while Mark and I fix the swing set and she stomped off”
You see it’s just in my nature! Something I am working on that’s for sure, but as they say’ “it’s part of the process, and perfect as it is” Even thought I am very relieved I was able to get out of my whoe-is-me mentality, get out of my head and laugh it off, which by the way is essential, I must not forget the importance of what I was actually dealing with. It is essential to not loose the lesson, otherwise that suffering, which is part of this refinement process called life, was in actually fact useless suffering. Some “suffering” is useful in our lives. It is through these hard processes that we are taught essential lessons, that build character and encourage us to grow. It is when we stay in that place and become the victim that we put ourselves through useless suffering. (BUT in actual fact, it is not, because every lesson is sacred, and it is perfect as it is. That being said – for you to be the radient being you are, there will come a time when you have to step back and laugh at yourself for being so silly. Hopefully that is sooner rather than later)
So here is the wisdom of the willow tree thus far:
· Trust in yourself, in others, and in the journey. Everything is going to workout, so CHOOSE to be happy.
· Build yourself a stable foundation to stand on, allowing you to stand in your power with the courage to be yourself.
· Be flexible. Live your life from moment to moment. When the winds of change are blowing, go with the flow. Everything is gonna be alright.
· Stop giving yourself such a hard time. It’s not worth suffering over.
· No one is expecting you to be perfect. Give yourself permission to be human, make mistakes, learn from them, have a good laugh, and then move on.
· You don’t have to go it alone. Let people help you along the way.
· Your world isn’t ending. Something new is beginning every moment, so get out of your own way and enjoy it!
A note to myself:
Stop running towards the finish line, the only thing that awaits you there is the end! The end comes when the journey is finished. When your done learning, your done living. JUST in case you’ve forgotten, you’ve only just begun! Stay a while – smell the roses, the water is fine, and all those other silly sayings. Oh ya, and I love you just the way you are!
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